Dio Dio Literature Club
by giogio195
Summary: "What's so special about this dumb game?" Dio suffers.
1. DDLCexe

**As per giogio195 tradition of making atleast 3 stories per xover. I'm going to write another unnecessary DDLCxJoJo.****But this time. THIS TIME. I'm going to try my best to make this a horror story. I am begging the clown inside of me to shut the fuck up and make this terrifying. So, now this is an AU where Dio is a lawyer, Dio? Why Dio you say? Because I love Dio so much I want him to suffer.**

"You? You fucking won Mr. Olympia 2003, had a 9-0 amateur record in MMA and 2nd runner up in a triathlon and you're telling me, a mere dating sim scared you? Fuck off, mate." Dio huffed. "But it's true! It disguised itself as a... As a dating sim but it's so horrifying!" Jonathan whimpered on the other line of the phone.

Dio sighed "You are a giant pussy, JoJo." he said before hanging up. After failing to win his case, his record is tarnished as a lawyer. He hates it. Why do the wrong people kept hiring him anyway? Defending the infamous drug kingpin Solido "The Italian Devil" Naso is nigh impossible as there are alot of evidence against his stupid ass, the fact that he is already infamous with drugs to begin with, he killed his own daughter a few days ago. Jesus, what a moron. Dio is pretty sure he's schizoprenic.

**Flashback**

"Put your hands up! We've got you surrounded!"

A police yelled as they arrested Diavolo in a public cafe Dio was currently relaxing on. "King Crimson!" the italian impaled a cop to the stomach with a butter knife.

"Oh fuck! Officer down!" the stabbed officer screamed.

"Okay, you're no longer surrounded."

**Flashback ends**

Waiting for the game to install, he took a piss. Ding. His computer says it's complete, as he yawned and made his way towards it. "Stupid JoJo, being scared by this shit." Dio mumbled as he clicked play.

_"This game is not suitable for children or those easily disturbed."_ it says.

Happy piano started playing._ "Doki doki!"_

"Makes sense, JoJo is basically a man child." he chuckled to himself as he observed the title screen of four girls. "How bad can this be?" Dio clicked New Game. He doesn't see the point in playing Dating Sims, if you want hentai, you can search it fast, you don't have to wait and work just to get a quick wank.

Enter name. Dio is not a kid, he prides himself to be more mature than Jonathan, he won't enter his own name.

So he instead puts "Boner-kun."

It was morning as the screen showed a picture of someone's house. Then he was greeted by Sayori.

Sayori: Hi Boner-kun!

Dio chuckled at himself and decided to skip all the dialogue. Not really interested in the story.

So, Boner joined a club about literature club, fitting on the game's title. Dio yawned as he skipped through loads and loads of dialogue until he can't press skip anymore.

Monika: Boner-kun, are you listening? Maybe stop skipping so much and pay attention.

Dio scoffed and snickered like a kid, this game just broke the fourth wall, it's funny. This is what JoJo is scared about? The man who dislocated his shoulder when they played rugby back in college is afraid of this shit?

Dio yawned and decided to call it a night. He turned off the game and sorted out a few of his files.

The next morning.

Dio almost spilled a cup of coffee as he saw a folder named "Where have you been?"

That's weird. Clicking on it, he saw an audio file named "Sayo-nara.wav" he clicked on it as the theme played. Distorted. He didn't pay much mind in to it and deleted it.

He decided to play some Red Dead Redemption 2.

Dio Brando is a very passionate man. He likes to scream and talk as he plays like a YouTube Let's Player. Here he is hunting a deer with a repeater.

"BAMBI!" he yelled out as if he's the one hunting himself. "I'M SORRY I SHOT YOUR MAMA, BAMBI! Ahh, there you are, made me drain my stamina core."

**bang***

He missed, but he continued to pursue it. Bumping on a woman "Hey, you've seen a little buck run around here, Imma kill that son of a bitch." Dio accidentally shot the woman instead.

After 15 minutes, he finally skinned the animal. Saving his game, he exited back to desktop only to find out that his wallpaper of him riding a Harley Davidson was replaced by Sayori's hanged corpse. "Fucking..." he cussed as he jumped back in surprise.

"What the hell... I think this goddamn game has a virus..." he clicked to play again. And much to his surprise, he was greeted by a pop up of text in a pink box.

???: Welcome back, Boner-kun.

"Stupid JoJo, he probably pranked me by making me infect my own computer with this thing." Dio grumbled. But not to be afraid, Dio Brando is a cunning individual with all of his backup files in his laptop.

Dragging his mouse, he can't quit the game. What the fuck. "NANI?!" he angrily asked as he tried clicking on the exit game option. He tried Alt F4, he tried Ctrl Alt Del. Nothing is happening.

He sent an agressive text to JoJo before deciding to play the stupid game instead.

As he played, everything seemed normal. And now he has to like choose 20 words as sprites of Yuri, Sayori and Natsuki were at the left of the notebook. "Hideous." he sneered at the cutesy chibis.

Now let's see:

Enigma. Yuri jumped.

Mystery. (Koichi poses) Yuri jumped again.

Dio noticed that the Yuri sprite's face changes to a nightmarish one in a split second.

He puts a hand on his chin. "Ahh, my favorite!" he chose his favorite word.

Useless. Sayori jumped.

"What." he flatly asked. Now he may skip dialogue alot, but in his keen observation, Sayori is the happy go lucky chick, Yuri is the emo, Natsuki is the brat. So why is that girl jumping on that word..?

It could be something sinister...

"Meh. She probably had the same good taste as I, Dio."

He chose the word possessive and at the bottom of the screen, he saw Monika's sprite head jump before disappearing.

Dio rubbed his eyes and moved away from the computer. "Now I'm not born yesterday, because if I am, I would still be wearing diapers. Why is that fourth wall breaking cunt down there?" he asked out loud.

He noticed that he is going to be late and he needs to attend to his office real quick so he opted on unplugging the stupid socket when it won't turn off even if the power button is pressed.

_Dio Brando, Attorney at Law._

Later that day.

"It's not a virus, Dio."

"It sure does fucking look like one, you owe me new computer, you fool." the two adoptive brothers continued to bicker on the phone. As Dio tossed his shoes away, he decided to try and fix his computer.

Dio Brando is rich. Having the Joestar inheritance split equally between him and Jonathan after George Joestar died, he would not have to worry about financial crap. But he likes to think of himself as a strong, independent, British man who don't need no one else to fix his computer for him.

As he pressed the power button, he noticed that the socket was plugged in when as we all know, he unplugged it this morning...

And so he called out "Daddy George, Stop messing with my stuff, goddamnit!"

He believes his own house was haunted. But he is not afraid at all. Ghosts were humans once. JoJo once asked him what will he do if a ghost tries to kill him, Dio replied he will let himself be killed, then when he turns to a ghost, he can beat the shit out of the ghost who killed him for eternity.

As the desktop started running, everything seemed normal. "Stupid game." Dio sighed in relief. But he decided to play anyway.

**I know, I know, there is no RDR2 in PC (as of now) but lets pretend there is, okay?**


	2. Cursed game

**Minor spoilers for Undead Nightmare.**

"Padre, will you come with me to the gym tomorrow?"

"No, son. I'm playing a game."

"But-"

Dio hung up. And decided to pay alittle more attention this time.

But his mind was clouded with other stuff as he read the dialogues. Today was a slow day in the office. So far, people saw him as a crooked lawyer. With Erina trying to tell her husband to not hang out with him in fear of being influenced, or this retard named Speedwagon saying he smells evil.

He was just trying to do his job, okay?? He was presented a choice back then when George was still healthy, be a doctor or a lawyer?

Dio chose law just so he knows how to break them. That and Dr. Dio doesn't have a ring to it.

So he impressed that emo chick with his words. He is in to long haired girls anyways. Natsuki was whining about it though to which Dio took a dislike for the girl.

So far, everything seems normal once again. But Dio won't let his guard down, it already freaked him out with those cheap scares. Monika kept telling him to save his game though to which Dio masterfully concluded that she is going to be the player's helper to romancing one of the girls.

Monika: Don't forget to save, Boner-kun.

He can't help but grin at that cheap joke. And with that save, he left the game to play some Undead Nightmare. "Enough school girl bullshit, time for some sidequests." he told himself.

Doki Doki seems like something Giorno would play, that big nerd. Dio went on to take the sidequest from the crazed sasquatch hunter...

Hunter: There been, Sasquatch roamin' around the woods.

John: Are you serious?

Hunter: Do I look like I'm jokin'?

"No, but you look like you're homeless." Dio scoffed.

Jonathan tossed and turned. He is basically weak when it comes to psychological horror, being the simple minded, naive man he is. He can't help but feel like he was being watched. "Is something wrong, dear?" Erina asked him as she rubbed her eyes. "N-Nothing, darling. Go back to sleep." Jonathan said as he got up to use the bathroom. As he walked past his computer, he noticed the webcam's red light is blinking. "That's... Bizarre." Jonathan curiously inspected it...

Sasquatch: None of us left... Please kill me, I can't take it anymore!

Dio gulped and paused as the last Sasquatch sat in misery. It made him feel something fairly new, pity. "Should I kill him or let him live..?" Dio weighed the pros and cons. Letting him live is just torture and killing him is just equally as bad...

"Hmm... I may be an evil bastard but... HOW OFTEN DO YOU GET TO MAKE SOMETHING EXTINCT! This is great!" Dio grinned as he shot it in the head.

His phone rang, "What is it now, Jonathan?"

Now JoJo is being ridiculous, he said that the game took his wife...

"I'M NOT... FUCKING... HIGH, OKAY?! Listen, you're gonna come over here right now, or I will beat you to death with my dick you hear me?! I will murder you with my di-"

Dio can't stop laughing at his brother's VERY out of character behavior, choosing to laugh at his suprisingly vulgar mouth instead. "Alright, cease your screaming, you imbecile. I'll be right over." Dio chuckled as he hung up. He doesn't believe Jonathan at all, and will just visit just because he won't miss the opportunity to witness his brother act ungentlemanly.

Jonathan panicked as he just saw Erina disappear right in front of his eyes. The game is cursed, possessed! Truth to be told, he never got past Sayori's suicide. He immediately cried like the kind hearted soul he is and decided he won't play anymore. But it seems like the game wants to be played. As it still appeared even after he deleted it, and change his wallpaper of his wedding to Sayori's corpse. He paced back and forth as he waited for his brother to arrive.

Dio kicked the door open with a grin "I got here as fast as I can."

Jonathan greeted him with a smile, thankful to have such a caring brother. But Dio just came here to watch Jonathan flip out.

"And then I saw her and then now I don't!" JoJo explained in distress. Dio then asked the real question. "Why the hell are you playing that game anyway?"

"Well... You see, Maria... Pocco's sister, told me that she helped develop the game. She said it's very well written and very engaging. And you know me, Dio. I'm as much of a bookworm as you are, good stories excite me! Whether they are from a film or a game... But she didn't tell me anything about it being... Possessed!"

Dio laughed once again "Don't be ridiculous, JoJo. There is no way a game could be possessed. And look, Erina was over there!" Dio pointed at the terrace to which the blonde woman entered. "Oh, I didn't know you're visiting, Dio." she glared at the lawyer. "How can you not hear JoJo scream about how he'll murder me with his dick, woman?" Dio taunted much to JoJo's embarrassment. "Y- Where have you been, love?" JoJo asked. "Oh, I just went out to get some fresh air. Why what happened?"

Dio left, it was all worth it to see Jonathan flip out like that. He'll never let him live it down.

As he returned back to his home, he saw the computer was still running. "What the- I must have left it running." Dio muttered and sat back down. He received a new email from a username called lilmonix3. Probably a new client. But as he opened it.

"**PLAY ME**."

Dio scratched his head. He's got to be honest, it was unnerving him. Well might as well play.

Clicking his save file, he tried to push the feeling of dread away by reminiscing JoJo's retarded threat.

So far the girls sans Monika were talking about how late she was and why. Dio willed himself to focus for once. They concluded that she has a... Before cutting themselves off.

"Has a what? A period? An emergency?" Dio urged them to continue until Yuri said that Monika is more desirable than all of them combined. "Then why isn't the game allowing me to romance her. I deserve the best, because I am the best." Dio huffed and crossed his arms. Monika entered the room and claimed she attended piano practice.

Since Dio's poem appealed Yuri so much, Boner-kun was introduced to Portrait of Markov as they make tea and eat chocolate.

Dio remembered the time he pranked his son to drink his piss. Claiming it was an exotic Sub Saharan cactus tea. To this day, Giorno didn't know the truth. A really weird scene where Boner-kun fed chocolate to Yuri was shown, much to Dio's unamusement.

"She had hands, let her eat it herself." Dio jeered. It's not that he doesn't like Yuri, he just found it unsanitary because humans uses their hands for almost everything and it's disgusting to Dio's eyes as he was a sophisticated and neat man. But he figured he was going to see some action so he unzipped his pants...

Monika: OKAY EVERYONE!

"Oh you cockblocking arsewipe!" Dio cussed as he jumped at the sudden scene change.

**Okay I give up. This is going to be a humor story.**


	3. Angry Dio

Dio was beyond frustrated, he almost got his pp severed by his goddamn zipper because of this Monika chick. "This is where I, Dio, don't see the point. Why waste time waiting for something to happen than just booting up Google and typing in Rule34?"

Dio looked up to see his webcam and it's light is blinking. "Nani?!" he immediately turned it away.

Now Dio is knowledgeable when it comes to hackers. He had two clients selling personal information on PinkMeth in the Deep Web. He won the case of course, but he also learned that not installing firewalls make someone's computer vulnerable to a internet creep who saps data and take pictures of you using your webcam. He immediately exited the game and checked. It's weird since his subscriptions weren't expired yet and his firewalls are working.

Then why? He decided to call it a night and go to bed.

Next morning.

Giorno visited his father as the elder Brando was getting ready to leave for work. "There is chicken breast in the fridge, kid." Dio said as he wrapped a scarf around his neck, it's chilly outside since it's almost New Year. "Si, si." Giorno replied as he sets down his laptop to the table. "You better discard soy from your diet, Giorno. It raises estrogen, might give you bitch tits." Dio lectured before leaving. "Yes, pa. I hated tofu anyway." Giorno grumbled.

As soon as his father left. Giorno did his assignments using his laptop. Now that he finished, he has alot of time to spare. What's he gonna do now? He walked towards his father's computer. Noticing a duct taped webcam, he unwrapped it and decided to turn the PC on.

"... I didn't know Padre was a gamer..." he muttered to himself as he was surprised by the amount of games in his desktop. He suddenly chuckled as he noticed the Doki Doki Literature Club application. Why in the world would Dio have this?

Giorno stood up and looked around the house to check if his father already left. Once the coast is clear, he decided he'd play the game himself without saving. Changing in to something more comfortable, Giorno continued his father's save game.

Giorno seemed to enjoy interacting with Yuri. But it didn't take the game too long to act weird as a pink box pop up appeared.

???: You're cute.

"I know." Giorno smiled, posed out of nowhere and continued.

Dio forgot the folder containing Diavolo's profile back at home, so he decided to drive back to pick it up.

Once he reached his home, he saw his stupid son in his boxers, playing his computer. "Giorno! What did I tell you about wanking?!" he screamed.

Giorno jumped back and panicked "U-Uhh! Hands on the weights, not on your dick!"

"Right! Now keep your hands outside your crotch! And explain what you're doing." Dio asked as he runmaged through his drawers to find the file. "Umm I was hoping I could play a game and I just... Tried playing this. Why do you have this installed in your computer anyway?"

"Your uncle pranked me. What have you done to my save?? You better not romance anyone else other than Yuri!" Dio grumbled. "I uhh... Don't worry pa..." Giorno sweatdropped. He made Boner-kun accept Sayori's confession.

Dio walked towards the screen as it shows the day of the festival. "Which part of the game is this?" he asked his son. "The festival." Giorno replied as they read the dialogue. Giorno stood up to let his father sit down.

Boner: Sayori is a heavy sleeper as usual. Maybe I should just let myself in. But I'm having complicated feelings, isn't this what a boyfriend should do?

"What. Did you pursue this woman instead?" Dio asked. "Oh calm down, padre. I didn't save it." Giorno replied in annoyance.

Boner: I gently opened the door.

scare chord*

"AY DIOS MIOS!" the father and son exclaimed and jumped back as they were jumpscared by Sayori's hanging corpse. "Fuck!" Dio cussed as his chair fell and he was flat on his back. Sayo-nara plays as the two were speechless for a moment. "What happened?! Giorno, I am proud by your ability to make girls kill themselves for you, but what happened when I was gone?" Dio exclaimed as he sat up, alittle unnerved since he recognized this picture. "Sayori mentioned she was depressed. I accepted her confession to save her but she did it anyway." Giorno sighed, a little shaken. "... Why don't you try wanking on that."

"Pa, that's messed up!" Giorno buried his face to his palms "Why did she have to do it..?"

Dio slapped the back of his son's head "Get a hold of yourself, they're not real."

Dio then explained the weird things that happened in the past days.

"Did uncle told you anything else about it? Aside that it was recommended to him?" Giorno asked. "No. But I do know one thing." Dio huffed.

"What?"

"Your uncle is an idiot." suddenly, Dio's smart TV turned on by itself to static. The two slowly turned to face the television. Giorno gulped as Dio blinked.

"So that's what they meant when they call it a smart TV." Giorno joked. "But I didn't order it to turn on, so it's an idiot TV." Dio retorted. He walked towards the TV and turned it off. "Padre. Is your house... Haunted?" Giorno asked. "Yeah. Probably your stupid grandfather. Why?"

Giorno pondered for a little bit. "I think I know someone who can get rid of the ghost in your house." he smiled.

"I don't need ghosts to go away, I want them to envy me because I'm still alive and they're not." Dio crossed his arms. Giorno furrowed his eyebrows, he'll do it anyway.

They heard someone giggle as they both turned around to face the monitor. A window opened.

???: Oh jeez, I didn't break anything did I?

"Bloody hell." Dio leaned closer to read the texts, it said that it's deleting Sayori's character file. Giorno grabbed his laptop and ran outside.

"Hey, where the hell are you- ugh. Forget it." Dio sighed, the boy left without a word. The game then restarted by itself.

_"Doki Doki!"_

Dio's eyes squinted. "What." he noticed that in the menu, the spot where Sayori was supposed to be was replaced by a distorted pictures of the 3 girls combined.

The new game font is also fucked up. That's the last straw.

Returning back to desktop, he deleted Doki Doki Literature Club application. A warning popped up.

_Warning: Are you sure you want to delete this application?_

"Yes. I am." Dio deadpanned as he clicked yes.

_Warning: Are you really sure?_

"Yes. Get rid of it."

_Warning: Really really sure?_

"YES. GODDAMNIT." Dio angrily clicked the mouse.

_Warning: Not even hesitating for a little?_

"Oh for fuck's sake!" Dio screamed and clicked but this time it finally disappeared. "Finally." Dio angrily huffed. He turned off his computer, grab the folder and returned to his office.

Giorno ran back inside because he forgot to put on his pants then gets out of there.

Night came and Dio decided he won't touch the computer for now.

The next day.

Yawning and stretching, Dio puts on his tanktop and decided to turn on the computer. "WHAT?" he asked in surprise as Doki Doki is the only game in the desktop. He frantically searched for the other games. RE7, RDR2, RDR, BULLY SE, Spiderman, Street fighter 3, MUGEN, they are all gone.

Dio was unsettled and angry at the same time. He breathed heavily and screamed out in frustration "WRYYYYYYY!!!"

**dingdong***

Dio sighed and got up. He figured it was Giorno. Opening the door, he was greeted by someone else.

An Italian man posed and snapped his fingers "HEY BABY! Is your house haunted?" it was William Antonio Zeppeli. Dio wordlessly slammed the door shut. Damn Giorno.

"POW!" Zeppeli kicked the door open. "What the- what do you think you're doing, you demented discount Willy Wonka?!" Dio snarled. "Your son said your house is haunted." Zeppeli closed his eyes as he felt the supernatural energy in the place. "I need a tech genius, not a goddamn ghost hunter. Begone, child molester." Dio shooed him away.

But Zeppeli made weird hand movements and pointed at the computer "That is the source of the paranormal activity!"

"The only thing paranormal here is me not kicking you out. Which reminds me... Get out!" Dio screamed as he shoved him out of the house.

Slamming the door shut, he started to panic and search for his files. All he saw was a bunch of random text files.

Maybe there is something supernatural about the game? He is not sure. Maybe he'll contact Team Salvato and give them a piece of his mind.

Opening his laptop, he sent an angry email to the team before closing it once again.

Maybe it's stupid, but he got the feeling that he has to play the game to advance- "What the..?" the webcam opened by itself as he saw himself in the monitor.

"WRYYYYYY!!!" he angrily hissed as he tore the webcam away from it's wire and ran outside.

He saw the ghost hunter preparing to enter his van. "Hmm? Have you changed your mind and want me to investigate your house?" William asked.

"MUDA!" Dio threw the webcam to his face and ran back inside his house.

His office files doesn't concern him since he had back up of it. But his games, his progress, his hardwork. All gone just because this goddamn Doki Doki game is a fucking dick dick.

"Damn this game! Ugh!" Dio grunted but played anyway.

So far, that Sayori girl was gone. It weirded Dio out, how a brief pixelated Yuri and Monika appeared when Boner-kun was pondering about walking to the Literature Club.

Maybe this time, he'll plan on romancing the small petite girl. "Bratsuki." Dio muttered under his breath.

**#NatsukiLivesMatter**


	4. Supernatural

"Oh! I, Dio, have unlocked a special poem." Dio crossed his arms feeling proud of himself.

"Stare at this dot." it says.

"... No. I am not going to get jumpscared, not a chance." Dio squinted and covered the screen with his hands except the dot. A few seconds of total silence, the dot turns to "I love you."

"Oh..." Dio muttered, he felt like an idiot as he sets his hands down. "I love me too."

He decided to take Natsuki's route.

Boner: You looking for something there?

Natsuki: **fucking monikammmmmmmmm**

Dio bursted out laughing at the rather creepy and out of nowhere bold text that appeared in the dialogue. Maybe he does like this girl after all. Natsuki whined how Monika never puts stuff back in to place. As Boner and Natsuki sat and talked, dark boxes and distorted dialogue appeared, catching Dio off guard. At this point, he knows something is wrong with the game itself, it's not a virus, it's the game itself. "Bloody hell." he cussed as Monika appeared and threw a protein bar at Natsuki. "You didn't throw it hard enough, Monika!" Dio huffed.

Dio continued to swerve through dialogue absent mindedly, so far, nothing interested happened, it reminds him of the time he was reviewing articles of the law. It almost made him fell asleep.

A few minutes later.

Dio remembered this scene from the first act. Natsuki and Yuri started to fight in front of their beloved Boner-kun. But a mild static effect to the screen and the background music distorts. "That Sayori woman was supposed to break this up." he said as the dialogue became bold once again and he was forced to choose who to side on.

**Natsuki**

**Yuri**

"Uhh.. Eh.. Damnit, background music, you're stressing me out!" he whined before clicking to Natsuki, but the screen just zoomed a little bit. "Huh? Did I choose wrong? Was I supposed to side with Yuri?" Dio pondered and clicked Yuri. It zoomed in again. Clickclickclickclickclickclick. It zooms in to Natsuki.

"Wha- so was I supposed to choose Natsuki all this ti- OH FUCK!" Dio screamed as Monika's face suddenly appeared. Dio bit his lip and pumped his middle finger to the screen "Damnyoudamnyou..!" he whispered angrily.

Monika: Heh. Let's step outside for a moment shall we, Boner-kun?

"You scared me! No- no wait, you just caught me off guard." Dio crossed his arms, he'll never admit he's scared.

He remembered the first time he played a Splinter Cell game and saw the Ubisoft logo.

16 year old Dio: You be soft?! No! I am very tough!

Suddenly Natsuki ran out of the door crying.

"What, what did she do to Natsuki?! That bitch!" Dio said as the next batch of dialogue came.

Yuri: I really hope you understan-

***glitch***

"Ffffffffuck!" Dio cussed as it pops up to the next poem mini game with glitchy words. Clicking the glitchy word, Yuri's sprite enlarged and consumed the bottom left of the screen as a file downloaded. "Wait, what is this?" Dio stuttered and opened it to see a distorted cartoony drawing of Sayori and a text saying...

???: Why is it so hard for you to hate them? Why did you made it harder for me to see your handsome face by removing the webcam?

"Hate who?? Who is this moron putting these messages here? And webcam?? What?!" Dio asked, flat out confused. "Is this a damn joke? It's not funny unless it's happening to someone OTHER than me!" Dio yelled out loud as he furiously stood up and decided to call it a day.

**dingdong***

"What. Wait what are you two doing here?" Dio asked in annoyance. "Your son told us your house is in trouble, boss." Bruford said. "Yeah, we're going to make sure they're dead."

"Tarkus, they are already dead. They're ghosts." Giorno said.

"Giorno. Why did you brought these goons here?" Dio furrowed his eyebrows and facepalmed.

"Come out! Goddamnit!" Bruford sprinted in and kicked a chair. "What in fuck's name are you doing?! You morons threatening to beat up a ghost?!" Dio yelled. "Hey, uhh guys, it's not a man, it's a ghost!" Giorno reminded them. Why would two muscle for hire be a good idea to kick a paranormal entity out anyway?

Suddenly the smart TV turned on by itself.

"**Get**. Out. **Of**. Our. **House**!" the static screen said.

"... What was that?" Bruford whispered. "A ghost, Ford." Giorno whispered. "A GHOST-GHOST?!" Tarkus screamed. "YES!" Dio yelled.

"Like a dead ghost?!"

"That's what we've been trying to tell you in the last 15 seconds! Idiot!" Dio berated his two loyal followers.

Dio faced the TV "Wait what do you mean OUR house, you dick? You're not even paying me any rent, and I'm no communis-"

Suddenly, they all turned to face the corner as the roomba turned on by itself and played a distorted version of the Doki Doki theme.

**"EvEryday, I iMagine a future WherE i Can be with you~"**

"AAAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!" the 4 morons screamed and ran outside.

"Boss, let's get out of here!"

"No can do, Bruford, that's my fucking house!" Dio stopped running and was pacing back and forth, having doubts of going back in. "Padre, just... Just sell the house!" Giorno said while the two thugs left. "No! It's not the house! It's that damn game!" Dio said as he puts his hands on his well groomed hair. "Giorno, stop calling weirdoes and get me a technician instead!"

"Pa, just sell the computer or give it to repo men."

"You can't repo something that is already possessed!"

And so they waited it out in McDonalds.

Giorno was eating his salad as Dio was brainstorming on possible ways why that shit just happened. Maybe because he turned off the game? He tore off the webcam? "Giorno. Why did you order a salad?" Dio asked. "It's not my cheat day yet." his son replied. "Going to McDonalds for salad is like going to a hooker for a hug." Dio sighed.

After spending the night at Giorno's dorm, much to the boy's frustration, he decided he'd face the music and return to his own home.

"MUDA!" he kicked his front door open as he got inside wielding a baseball bat he stole from some drag queen named Anasui.

**Flashback**

"Hey what the fuck do you think you're doing to my stuff, old man? Giorno, tell your dad to get lost!" Anasui whined as Dio rummaged through his room. "Aha!" Dio picked up the bat with a smile. "Hey, give it back!" Anasui screamed. "NO!" Dio smashed his face with it.

**Flashback ends.**

"Dio!"

"Ahh! Fuck!" Dio turned around and whacked the man in the face. "Ow! Oh, boy what is your problem?!" Pucci whined. "Father Enrico, oh thank God, you're here." Dio sighed.

"Nigga, call me Pucci. We go way back, Dio." Pucci patted him in the back. "Ciao, pa." Giorno waved holding a camcorder. "Why are you filming this?" Dio deadpanned. "Because why not?"

**I got the N word pass from my bestfriend, so I'm not racist.**


	5. Oh snap

"Now what is poppin'?" Pucci asked. "My house is definitely haunted by that damn game." Dio facepalmed. "Get that camera out of my face, Giorno." Dio tried to shoo his son away.

"Indeed! Spirits hate being filmed, which is why they mostly refuse to appear in Ghosthunting TV shows." Zeppeli said, popping out of nowhere. "Where did you even come from?!" Dio asked in frustration.

"My madre's utero like any other man."

So Dio cautiously lead the rest of the misfits inside as they were vigilant at any sign of paranormal activity. As Dio sat and turned on the computer, everything seems normal. "What's the problem here?" Pucci asked.

"My files. My games! They are back!" Dio exclaimed in surprise. "And you call me loco, Dio Brando. You're acting like a bambino!" Zeppeli whined as Dio yelled in celebration "WOOOOOO! Yeah!" Dio clicked RDR2.

"Hold on, what." Pucci deadpanned as the program opened, instead of the usual Rockstar Games logo, it's Team Salvato's logo. "I didn't know my nigga Dan did this game? I know for sure it's Dan Houser (Rockstar head), not Dan Salvato." the priest explained.

"It's getting weird again..!" Giorno said. "Okay! You fuckers watch closely, when I say this game is haunted, I am not taking the piss, this is literally haunted." Dio explained. "Of course you're not taking the piss, dog. Giorno does." the priest butted in, aware of the piss tea prank. "Wait, what does that suppose to mean, Father Pucci?" the boy asked in annoyance.

"Oh! Look at that woman over there!" William pointed. Yuri tried to apologize to Natsuki for making her cry previously, but the petite tsundere doesn't seem to know what she's talking about as realistic mouth replaced Natsuki's and started mumbling.

"Holy fuck!" Pucci cussed. Giorno zoomed in on the mouth as the next scene came and everything was normal again.

"Okay, what is this about?" Pucci asked. "Just shut up and watch. You'll see what I'm talking about." Dio replied.

Boner and Yuri planned to make some tea, but when Yuri left for quite a long time to drink some water, Boner is worried. He found her with cuts on her forearms.

"OH FUCK, that's... Oh!" Giorno cussed. "I knew it! She's emo!" Dio exclaimed. "Damn, that bitch is mental." Pucci adds. "Well, friend. You can't spell mental without metal." William snaps his fingers.

After quite a few dialogues, Yuri pulled Boner and stared at him with photorealistic eyes for 35 seconds.

"MAMMA MIA!"

"THAT COMPUTER'S ASS IS POSSESSED, Imma need my Bible!" Pucci ran outside. The three held their breath as Yuri continued to stare in to their souls. But Monika saved Boner once again to say it's time for poem swaps.

Dio continued to progress as usual. Ignoring the darker versions of the poems. "I'm telling you, blokes. This fucking game is haunted." the blonde man explained. "I caught it all on camera, pa. No one will think you're crazy." Giorno said. "Well, because I am not!" Dio snarled. "I think you were. You threw a webcam at me." Will muttered.

Ominously, the club atmosphere darkens as Natsuki whined at Boner-kun that he didn't read with her and that he should just play with her instead. "Oh dear. This doesn't look good." Giorno said. "I can't find my Bible." Pucci returned to join them.

Natsuki:** Yuri is a sick freak. Play with me instead. Play with me. PLAY WITH ME.**

"No way! As a lawyer, doing that is embarrassing if the FBI busts through my door!" Dio screamed. "Ravioli, ravioli, don't touch the tsundere loli." William deadpanned.

Natsuki snapped her neck and ran towards the screen.

"AAAAAAGGHHHHH JESUS FUCK!"

They all screamed like little girls as they jumped back.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" Dio yelled. "That got my heart pumping..." Giorno hyperventilate. "That is scarier than my madre in law." William whispered. "That mini white bitch pulling some exorcist shit. Goddamn!" Pucci cussed.

The game restarted as normal.

"This game is cursed. This game is haunted! JoJo is not an idiot..." Dio muttered to himself before laughing out loud at the next dialogue.

Boner: Who should I show my poem to next?

"You utter moron! Natsuki just pulled some demonic shit and now you're wondering who to show your poem next?" Dio choked in between laughs. "I miss Sayori." Giorno whispered. "Okay, that is enough. I'm saving this before things get out of hand." Dio said as he exited the game, or tried to atleast. He finally returned to desktop as Natsuki with a broken neck replaced his wallpaper.

They all gasped.

"Oh shit! Your computer is fucked up!" Pucci said. "That's what i was trying to say." Dio sighed and unplugged the device.

"Okay since I am a supernatural expert, I declare your computer, possessed!" William posed.

"I agree with this white nigga." Pucci crossed his arms. "What are you gonna do about it, pa?" Giorno asked.

"I'll think of something, JUST don't tell JoJo! I'll never hear the end of it about how right he is." Dio scoffed.

Dio decided to spend the night at a hotel after Giorno begged him to not return to the dorm room.

Night came.

"Nyeh. Hey, this window is open." a burglar made his way in. "Oi Josuke, the TV is on..."

"Damnit, stop saying my real name you idiot, someone might be listening!" the other adolescent whispered angrily. But as they made themselves in, opting on looting Dio's house as they grabbed earrings and small antique vases.

Okuyasu smirked as he wore one of the smartwatch he picked up. But the TV went to static, making Okuyasu squeak. "J-Jo... That TV is giving me the creeps, let's make this quick." he shivered. "Yeah, it probably had censor, considering how wealthy the sucker who lives here is..." Josuke gulped.

The TV screen suddenly showed Monika with a distorted voice "What do you think you're doing?"

"N-Nani?!" the two froze in their tracks. "Drop the variables, boys." she said menacingly, suddenly the computer turned on by itself showing her face "Drop it."

Okuyasu's stolen smartwatch also showed her face "Do it."

"H-Holy shit! Okay! We're sorry!" Okuyasu whimpered. Josuke reached for his phone, he hopes to film this terrifying phenomenon, but Monika also appeared in his phone screen "Leave this house alone and be a good boy."

"GAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!"

The two jumped out of the window leaving the variables behind and ran as fast as they can.

Monika smiled sweetly before turning every appliance off.

The next morning.

"What the hell?!" Dio screamed in panic as a his stuff are all over the floor. He grumbled picked up his stuff and returned it to their place. He saw a small note that sent a shivers up his spine.

_"Don't worry, Dio! There were two thieves here yesterday, but I scared them away, I'll keep you and your house safe. :3"_

"Nani?! Now I, Dio, have a secret admirer?!" he shrieked. Dio pondered and puts his hand on his chin.


	6. Exorcism

Ignoring it, he's so done and decided to leave for work anyways.

"I'm telling you! I'm not. Fucking. High! Stop accusing me or I will beat you to death with my dick." Josuke claimed. "Are you sure about it, Josuke? It sounds really unbelievable." the shorter boy said. "That Monika is cute though." Okuyasu muttered to himself. "Yes! You know what, go break in there yourself, Koichi. You'll see what I mean for real." Josuke huffed and crossed his arms. We all know Koichi steals, we all know he has no dignity, and it was only a matter of time before Okuyasu and Josuke joins him.

But the trio never failed a hit before, and Dio Brando's house screams challenge. Josuke concluded that Monika is just a state of the art artificial intelligence designed to keep security tight, which means the house could be housing more expensive stuff!

"I made up my mind!" Josuke slammed his hand at the table. "Just... Give me a week to fill my courage up again and we'll break in there together."

"J-Josuke, you can't be serious! There is no telling what that Monika would do to us if she caught us again!" Okuyasu argued. Koichi remained silent, he wonders just what would happen.

"Don't worry Padre Pucci, I am prepared." William tapped his pockets. "You better be, because I'm not." Pucci said. And so, Giorno, William and Pucci were standing outside of Dio's house. "Who goes first?" Giorno asked. "You! You know this house more than we do, homeboy!" Pucci gently shoved him. "Me?! I can't! I am the camera man! The cast should always be in frame." the boy argued. "Okay! I volunteer. If this is my fate then I accept it." Zeppeli bravely claimed as he walked inside and led the way.

The computer suddenly turned on.

"Alright, Father Pucci. You go do your thing." Giorno whispered. "D-Do I really have to get close?" the priest stuttered. "Si." the ghost hunter deadpanned. "Maybe I can just stay here, I am a long range guy... Hehe. Y'all think I'm scared..."

"I don't think you're-"

"But I'm NOT. I'm just... Concerned that I don't have the right equipment to deal with this." Pucci said as he slowly inched forward. "What do you mean, you have your Bible." Giorno whispered angrily. "I am talking about a loaded gun, Giorno. A pistol ought to do the trick." the priest snarled.

After a hard day at work, Dio stood in shock as he saw the 3 idiots surrounding his computer.

"What is going here?" he asked. "Shush!" William silenced him. "Father Pucci is trying to exorcise the computer." Giorno whispered. "I told you to call a technician! And exorcise?! Pucci told me he is an atheist!" Dio snarled.

"Blessed, is he, in the name of goodwill." Pucci opened his Bible and started preaching to which the 3 shuts up out of respect. "Sheperds go weep, through the valley of darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper... And finder of lost children." the priest said in a calm and soothing tone.

But Dio's eyes widened as Pucci raised his voice.

"AND YOU WILL KNOW, MY NAME, IS THE LORD, WHEN I LAY MY VENGEANCE, UPON YOU."

Giorno raised a finger slowly and asked dumbfoundedly "Did you just quote Sam L. Jackson from Pulp Fiction?" the priest and the ghost hunter started to laugh "You got me there, kiddo! I love Samuel Jackson! With the Jherry Curl drippin and when he was on a plane and he killed them snakes."

"THAT'S MY FAVORITE MOVIE!" William screamed.

"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, I HAVE HAD IT, WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES, ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!"

"ALRIGHT! Enough! Just do your exorcism! That's what you're here for, you clowns!" Dio yelled.

Suddenly, the computer started shaking as the TV turned on and off. The roomba is going berserk as Dio's phone rang. "Ignore all that! A ghost can't do no harm to the living!" William proclaimed, only to get electrecouted by his own phone in his pocket. "Mr. Zeppeli!" Giorno yelled as he aimed his camera to the italian man gaving a seizure.

"Good. One less moron to deal with." Dio huffed insensitively as he picked up his phone. "Hello, you are now speaking to Attorney Dio Brand-" he stopped midway as all he hear is static. Before a girly voice spoke "**Get your friends outside of the house please?**"

"Who's this?!" Dio asked fearlessly. "**Fine, I'll do it myself**."

The computer suddenly bursts in to flames. "NO!" Dio yelled in distress. "Oh shit! Begone, demon!" Pucci grabbed his holy water to douse the fire. "No- wait don't throw water at an electrical fi-" Giorno warned but it was too late, Pucci got blown away and was knocked unconcious. "Father Pucci!" Giorno yelled but he noticed his camera started to go crazy as the recording stopped. He quickly lets go of the camera in fear of being killed.

"Son, we gotta go!" Dio yelled as Giorno was still a little shaken. But the boy was unresponsive "Okay, fine! Stay here and die, buy your papa time to escape." Dio screamed before running away.

"H-Hey! No!" Giorno ran soon after. But as soon as they got out, everything returned to normal.

**Dio using the Joestar technique.**


	7. No dignity

"Josuke, what are you doing?" Okuyasu asked as he saw the boy trying to put on a balaclava over his pompadour. "I'm going to scout the house from outside and form a strategy. You in?"

"Oh hell no! That AI thingy will murder us!"

"I'm in." Koichi said as he came inside the room wearing a ski mask. Okuyasu and Josuke glanced at eachother before laughing. "... What?" Koichi asked.

"Ahahaaaa! You look like a mini ninja! Stick with the beanie and face mask!" Josuke wheezed. "You're like a small luchador! Booyaka booyaka, 619!" Okuyasu wiped a tear from his eyes as Koichi frowned "Are we gonna do this or nah?!"

"Damnit. A baseball bat won't stand up against that machine controlling freak." Dio puts his hands on his hair as he tried to think of a solution. Giorno sat beside him in a park bench after buying some ice cream "I always thought the baseball bat was your way of making a pun, pa." Giorno muttered out loud.

"The hell you mean?"

"Home-run? Like, we just ran from your home. It's clever." Giorno chuckled.

Dio remained silent for a while "Why do I have a fucking nerd as a son?" he asked out loud causing his son to frown.

The sun has finally set as Okuyasu drove down 6 blocks away from Brando's residence. "This is as close as I get, you guys." he said to his teammates, to which they jeered "You fucking pussy."

The front seems empty and the neighborhood was silent. "Go, go, go." Josuke ushered Koichi as they snuck towards the left side of the house.

Peeking through the window, it was too dark to spot anything. Josuke tried to open the window but it was locked, he lets out a sigh of relief.

"Josuke, look!" Koichi pointed at a small ventilation system 4 feet above them. And so Josuke had a great idea.

Koichi crawled through after being boosted up by his friend to enter, so far he was skeptical of their claims that an AI like that would be sitting on an average citizen's house, so far, security systems weren't THAT advanced yet so he just had to see for himself. "Josuke, come in." he whispered at his ear piece.

"I don't wanna." he heard the pompadour reply.

"Wha- no! I meant, can you hear me?" he whispered angrily.

"Oh! Yes I do!"

Koichi finally got out of the vents as he landed on the kitchen. "So far the place is empty." he informed Josuke.

"Just be careful of any wires that might set the AI off. I think Okuyasu stepped on one." Josuke warned and so Koichi blinked quickly to get his eyes adjusted to the dark quickly.

He carefully made his way to the living room and much to his horror. "J-J-Josuke??" he stuttered.

"What?"

"T-There are two guys on the floor here." he fearfully whispered.

"Oh. Well what are you waiting for, Rey Mysterio? Loot them!" Josuke gleefully commanded having no regards to human life. Koichi did not respond as he poked the black guy.

Josuke felt like he needed to pee, so he pissed at the wall.

"Koichi? Koichi, come in."

"I'm already inside." Koichi responded.

"No, I meant, can you hear me?" Josuke asked in frustration.

"Oh-Oh! Yeah."

Josuke asked him what they looked like.

"Uhhh, the first guy was a man wearing a white suit with a checkered top hat and a silly mustache and the other is a... A black priest wearing a gold chain." Koichi said as he crouched to observe their features.

"Great! Loot em! They're probably some gay couple who passed out drunk after drinking too much!" Josuke smiled. So far, the AI was not activated, allowing Koichi to roam around the house with leisure. "Okay I'll see what I can do." Koichi said as he started to grab William's smartphone and wallet, and Pucci's gold chain and multiple gangster rings.

"How's it going out there?" Koichi asked as he puts them all in his pouch and secured it. "I think I hear sirens. Get out quick." Josuke said. Koichi stepped on something, a camcorder. He stared at it for awhile before going "Eh." and picking it up.

As he climbed the vent, he turned around to close it but he was absolutely terrified when he saw a silhouette of a woman with a long ponytail and a white boe standing on the entrance of the kitchen staring at him. "J-J-Josuke, I think someone is here." he whispered.

"Then get the fuck outta there!"

Koichi did.

"Are you serious? Are we just going to leave Mr. Zeppeli and Father Pucci in your living room?" Giorno asked his dad like the sensible teen he is. "Hmm. You're right, we should go get them." Dio said as Giorno sighed, finally, his padre was showing some empathy on other huma- "They might rot and the stench will be difficult to remove." Dio continued as his son rolled his eyes.

"I swear, I saw her! She was just standing there, menacingly!" Koichi claimed. "Hmm. What do you think, Okuyasu?" Josuke asked the driver. "I don't think it's an AI, it might be a ghost." Okuyasu said dead serious as he continued to drive the car. "G-G-G-Ghost??" Josuke stuttered. He was terrified of ghost, specially last week before he moved on to their headquarters, he made the mistake of using an Ouija board out of boredom and noe this ghost girl haunts his house, revealing herself as Reimi one time when Josuke was masturbating in his bedroom. Since then, every time he was naked (going for a bath, changing clothes, doing laundry) he can hear a faint giggle, a faint whisper of "I wish I was still alive" and a figure of a petite pink haired girl at the corner of his eye.

"Could be a possibility. I think it's more plausible than a really advanced AI, since those kind of security systems weren't released to the public yet as far as I know." Koichi reasoned.

Josuke gulped and tried to change the subject "So... What did you got?"

"Oh umm.." Koichi showed them a smartphone, a gold chain and a camcorder. "Aww this looks kewl! We're NOT selling this." Josuke grinned as he wore the chain. Koichi however, was more interested on what the camcorder has to offer...

"Oi Josuke. You heard sirens right?" Okuyasu asked. "Yeah- oh my fucking- we panicked for nothing." Josuke said in frustration as they passed by an ambulance.

**DUWANG GANG**


	8. Retaking the house

'I can't fucking take it anymore, luckily, I ordered my brother to find and hire the most competent tech genius he can get ahold of. Money was no issue, so this man is the best of the best.'

...

"So his name is Rudol Viacheslav Stroheim?" Dio asked as he inspected his resume. "Yep! He is a Russian German hacker, he used to work for countless organizations! So his skill is nothing to be scoffed at." Jonathan patted his shoulder.

"And where do you exactly found this man? No offense, JoJo, but you likely don't have the connections to get ahold of these type of people."

"Why my good friend Speedwagon of course! He never lets me down!" the bigger man grinned reassuringly. "We aren't exactly the best of friends, so he must be sabotaging me." Dio mumbled.

_Flashback._

_"A RAT!"_

_"What did you just called me?!"_

_"YOU ARE A BIG FUCK OFF RAT, YOU SMELL EVIL!" Robert pointed at the blonde boy. "JOJO! WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE ARE YOU BRINGING HERE?!" Dio called out to his brother in the kitchen fetching some snacks. "Quiet down you two! Father is sleeping upstairs!" Jonathan shushed them._

_"JOJO, KEEP IT DOWN, DAMNIT!" they heard George's angry voice from the ceiling. "What- why do I get the blame?" the blue haired gentleman asked dejectedly._

_Flashback ends._

...

It was sunset.

Giorno and Dio walked in front of his house. "Padre, the window was open!" Giorno whispered as he records the whole thing. "Would you fuck of with that camcorder, what are you? Miles Upshur from Outlast? I thought you fucking left that inside!?" Dio berated his son.

"Who says I only have one?" Giorno replied with a sly smirk.

A rumbling noise was heard from inside as the two immediately put their guard up. "Pass me Anasui's baseball bat."

Dio held the bat tightly as he walked to the front door. "The demon is inside..." Giorno whispered. "I'm gonna get them out of my fucking house." Dio threatened as he slowly grabbed the doorknob.

Another rumbling noise was heard.

Dio immediately lets go and turns towards his son "Fuck it, I don't wanna do it, let's go, let's go, let's get out of here."

"What- no, no! Take your house back! Come on!" his son protested. "What do you mean- no you! I'll hold that cam and you go whack it! Easy for you to say!" Dio angrily whispered.

"You can't make me do that! You are physically superior to me, if anyone's kicking ass, it's you!" the son argued.

A loud banging sound was heard.

"Fuck, we need to go now! This is for white people! This is for white people!" the older blonde was whispering.

"WE ARE WHITE!"

"We don't investigate, we run, we run, we live!"

"But pa-"

"IF WE KNOW HE'S IN THERE, WHY ARE WE GONNA GO INSIDE?!"

...

Dio was sitting and leaning on the wall "Wryhyhyhy..!" he sobbed as his son was speechless.

"What if it bites me?" Dio asked his son with his eyes full of tears.

"It's not a zombie, it's a demon!" Giorno grabbed his arm and helped him up.

...

Dio was jumping up and down to hype himself up "You wanna play? You killed my mother, you killed my mother!?"

"That's right!" Giorno cheered him on.

"No, no, I'm kidding, I can't do it."

...

"You got this!" the cameraman said. Dio took a deep breath. "AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH! FUCKING DIEEEE!" he charged inside his house and fucking beats the shit of the first figure in the dark he sensed. "Yeah! Yes! Get them!" Giorno cheered as he fumbled for the lightswitch, it would be priceless if he filmed his father beating a supernatural being. But once he opened the light, he saw a badly bruised Zeppeli and Pucci.

Dio halted "What the- you're alive?!"

"Yeah! What the fuck man?! You don't hit a nigga with a bat, it ain't cool!" Pucci whined as he stood up. "Ughh how long was I out?" William mumbled.

"Did the evil spirit attacked you guys?" Giorno asked. "No, negative." Zeppeli stood up but his legs were wobbly. "Wait, who stole my threads?! My holy threads are gone! And so was my rings? Dio someone stole my rings!" Pucci asked in panic. "Why do you care?! They are just rings, what are you, fucking Sonic the hedgehog? Get the fuck out!" Dio shooed the two away, obviously tired of this shit.

"Ghost! Just know that I'll be back! Arrividerci." William declared before leaving. "Yeah I have to settle a score with you, bitch! You can't just steal Pucci's Guccis!" the priest said as he exited the house.

"My camcorder was also gone. I think someone broke in to your house." Giorno said. "Heh, as far as I see, only those two got robbed. Fucking computer demon probably did well as home security system." Dio chuckled as he tossed Anasui's bat to the couch.

"Are you... Gonna be alright?" Giorno asked. "Of course. I figured if I just let it be, it won't do anything to me." Dio relaxed at his recliner. Giorno silently walked towards the door to go home before glancing one last time at his father.

"You weren't possessed are you?" his son asked.

"I'm too fucking evil to be possessed, even demons won't touch me. Now go home kid, you got school tomorrow." Dio shooed him away.

Maybe this will be nice, he has a home security system for free. His eyes widened as he saw the computer in tip top shape. "Oh my Dio... What the fuck... It even fixed this, didn't it explode?" he walked towards it and trailed his finger over the CPU.

He'll sleep soundly tonight.

...

It was weird.

"Mori Mori Doki Doki Cho Radio~"

Dio's eyes shot wide open as the weird cute girl voice startled him.

"What the fu- since when did my alarm-" he stopped himself as he heard someone trip outside his front door.

"Te chevo debil blyat."


End file.
